I’ve seen it all now with the hopeless UK tabloids. Apparently they’re complaining that the hourly bugle-call (“hejnal”) from the top of the Mariacki church in Krakow’s main square will keep the England football team awake! Quite apart from the fact it won’t – I’ve stayed in hotels in the old town and slept fine – it’s an ancient tradition commemorating when a Krakow bugler warned the city of the encroaching Tartars only to receive an arrow in his throat for his troubles. Hence the hejnal abruptly stops halfway through, and hence the reference to “throttled buglers” in the subtitle to Polska Dotty. Of much more concern to the England team should be why they’re staying in the most central, noisiest part of Krakow – noisy for night life rather than trumpeters – miles from any football pitch. This I can’t understand, other than as an over-reaction to criticism of their base being too cut off in the last World Cup. Of much more concern to me is the massive hiking up of rent on the pitches of obwarzanki sellers in Krakow, which could see their demise. Obwarzanki are crispy bagel-like bread, plain or covered in poppy or sesame seeds. Over the years they’ve rescued me from many a hungry moment. Don’t worry about the buglers, save the bagels!